A Long Pointless Story

I went to the La Jolla Comedy Store a couple of weeks ago, because Eddie Brill was performing there and I wanted to see him. This story is about why I wanted to see him, and why I will want to see him in the future.

A long time ago, Comedy Central aired a show called "Contest Searchlight". Contest Searchlight was a parody of "Project Greenlight", which was a documentary about a contest to find good amateur screenplays, and the best would be made into a movie. Damon and Affleck were behind it. Anyway, this comedy central show was a mockumentary about a contest to find the best sitcom idea.

The show wasn't that great, so I'll skip ahead. They get to the point where they've chosen the sitcom idea and they're making the pilot, but the lead actor is missing; they can't find him anywhere. The audience is getting restless in their seats, so they call in a standup comic to warm up the crowd and basically stall. The stand up comic was kinda tubby, and when one audience member finally gets fed up with waiting he says "get on with the show, you fat fuck!" The immediate response from the comic is "I'm fat because every time I fuck your mom she makes me a sandwich!"

The guy playing the comic was Eddie Brill. Now you know why I wanted to see Eddie Brill do standup in person.

While I was at his live show, there was a woman in the crowd who was clearly drunk, and was talking back to everything he said. Not really heckling, but more like reacting to him, answering his hypothetical questions, basically just drunk. Eventually Eddie realizes that this is a person he actually knows, and talks directly to her for a couple of minutes. After he's done, he apologizes to the rest of the crowd and is like "I know that's kinda boring for you, but at least it's better than heckling." He then proceeds to tell the following story:

Once when Eddie was doing comedy in Britain he met an English comedian and started chatting with him. They were talking about the differences between English and American audiences. The English comedian asked Eddie what was the typical American joke for when someone in the audience drops a glass. Eddie told him that he usually said something like "Yeah, just put that anywhere!" Then Eddie asks the Englishman what he would say to an English crowd, to which he replies "Sack the juggler!"

Later that night, Eddie does a show in Ireland and during the show a waitress drops a whole tray of glasses. Without missing a beat, Eddie says "Sack the juggler!" and the audience goes wild, they just love it.

Back up to Eddie's conversation with the Englishman. Like Eddie, this guy was a little tubby, so he asks Eddie "what would you say to a heckler who calls you fat?" Eddie responds "I'd say something like 'Yeah I'm fat, but I could go on a diet... you're gonna be a douchebag for the rest of your life!'" Then of course Eddie asks the Englishman the same thing, and he says "I'm fat because every time I fuck your mom she makes me a sandwich!"

So Eddie tells us this story in the La Jolla Comedy Club, on the one night that I go to see him, and the main reason I went to see him int he first place is because I randomly heard him tell this same joke years ago on a terrible Comedy Central show that I watched like twice.

Go, randomness, go!